My soul is an own personality "in the otherworld". A soul personality. In the afterworld, the home of souls, she is always ME, while here on earth I am someone different in each incarnation. I just play a role part here.
"Just" a role play
The "I" in afterlife is different from the "EGO" here on earth. That's marvelous! It's a immense relief to know that anybody play their own role. I can stop to try desperately to understand why someone does something in this or that way, or someone is unfair and cruel to me, has it seemingly better than I, has an higher position, is ill seriously, or whatever... that's simply his/her role. That's the reason why I can't change anybody and shouldn't change anyone. Goodness, to mess up someone's role just because I mean well and try to help.
Transformation
Here on earth the quest is to develop myself. Development is change.
As soon as I change myself, I probably will affect unconsciously my environment. I bet, you are acquainted with this: Someone smiles, and you smile back. That's like a stone that is thrown into water. The stone generates a wave. The "first" wave. As soon as I smile, this corrsponds to the first litte wave. I send it to the outside.
That person who smiles back, is the second wave. Smilingly he leaves the room, and whoever meets him sees the smile and smiles likewise. The next circle of wave arises. This circle arose without my direct intervention. I have produced the first wave conscious, and wave two arose resulted from it. Wonderful. This is completely sufficient. The rest happens by itself. One wave after another.
Of course, this functions in the other direction also. My bad mood is transmitted also. I'm trying to keep that in mind now. Nobody deserves my bad mood.
Creation instead of manipulation
Instead of interfering consciously and wanting to change others, I have changed something about myself. I create, the outside reacts. If I act with wrath, I reap rejection. If I act with serenity, I maybe achieve amazement first and then I find myself in a clarifying conversation that satisfies the other person too. If I act with joy and humor, my counterpart relaxes visibly.
I am in the process to learn, listening actively, to consider the other person from a neutral perspective, to imagine which role part he may have chosen for himself, which bundle he has to lug around. Compassion and empathy make the handling of other people perceptibly easier.
If this "I define myself new" affects my environment positively, that's a nice thing. But it doesn't have to do so. I don't expect that either. Everyone can remain a "grumbler" (bad-tempered person who constantly criticizes) at their own discretion, if they find that more suitable for themselves. I for my turn want to stop, to get upset, to be angry mostly without sense. No more squandering energy with my fears, because in the end anything comes the other way than I was afraid of. Or making it worse under "high pressure" first and afterwards needing a lot of energy to take countermeasures.
How much I already would have spared with "remaining calm" (proactive instead of reactive). What a pity about wasting my own resources.