Or: 3 obstacles on the way to being happy
The three blockades on the way to the inner midst and harmony are:
Hate
Hate is born out of violence and gruelity, whether physical and/or psychical nature. From that resulting feelings of revenge are an expression of deep pain, grief about an unnecessary loss, firsthand expierence of injustice or the incomprehensibility of a deed.
Though: Do vengeance and feelings of hatred remove suffering from the world? Brings revenge back what was lost and heals the deep pain?
Hate and the revenge feelings poison my own soul. Dislike of unpleasant colleagues, scolding at an aggressive car driver or bicyclist, the contempt of people with a contrary world view - all of this harms me more than the counterpart. I am the one who feels bad. I am the one who torture myself with it every day anew.
What for?
Envy
Envy arises in comparison to others, in contemplation of the people around me. To watch, who has more, who is more popular, who has more talents, or who has more success, causes an uncomfortable feeling. I torment my self-respect with the question: "Does the other deserve it more than I? Is he worth more than me?"
These negative thoughts and energies are seed of anger, aggression, greed, jealousy and frustration. To ask myself, what do I lack, why is it necessary to look at others, can help to change the perspective. A person who has achieved what I am striving for, can serve as a role model for me. But I can also just be happy for the other.
Above all, I should think about what is good in my own life.
Self-centeredness
Self-centeredness is more than pure egoism. Rather, it means considering things from ones own perspective only and comparing with ones own values. To see oneself as the measure of all things. Trying to convince others of ones own opinion is an "ego program". Here on earth it's about to develop by oneself and let others find their own way.
Typical ego programs:
- comment everything (express the own standpoint to any topic)
- wanting to convince others of the own point of view (want to be the measurement of all things)
- the addiction to criticize everything
- inability to endure pain and suffering (whining, focusing the own illness, wanting to be pitied)
- obtruding help, carrying the worries of others (helper syndrome)
- expecting gratitude, a gift or an invitation for ones "selfless" help
- giving advice without being asked (and even be offended then if it is rejected)
- wanting to being right
- longing for recognition (wanting to be admired)
- lecturing others
- thinking, to bear the fault for everything (and thereby putting oneself at the center)
- "wallowing" in the victims role and thus forcing others to be considerate
Many ego programs hide behind helpfulness. Considering oneself to be kind and merciful is an ego program, because the focus lies upon these skills and one expects admiration and acceptance for them. Only unselfish help, which does'nt hope for or expect anything, but stands entirely for itself, is a sign that the self-centeredness has been abandoned.
Also feelings of guilt are a well hidden ego program. To believe having the alone strength to carry the responsibility for all what is bad. To believe I have the power to cause the bad at all. Rather, I should ask myself: Is this an exam where I should learn and develop myself further?